## Outcomes -V- Daily meaningful activities using skills you already have gets you into flow. -V- Flow frequently brings **outcomes**: - emotional outcomes (makes us happy) - material outcomes (fruits of our labour) --- Outcomes keep us going. -V- ### But sometimes... we get derailed by bad mood - by negative events or emotions around us - due to our own failing - by recalling a negative past and lose our flow. -V- Negativity captures our attention more than positivity. -V- #### So we stay down due to the negative feedback loop: Negativity and pessimism reinforce themselves. -V- We need **emotional stability** to keep us going. --- ### Hamster in a box

-V- ### Hamster in a box - when put in a box with a lid, it will try to jump out - and after a day or two it will give up and never try again - even once the lid is removed -V- -V- ### Learned helplessness [Martin Seligman] -V- #### Baby Elephant Syndrome --- ### Hamster Procrastination Cycle 1. Do nothing 2. Have regrets 3. Doubt yourself 4. Feel helpless 5. GOTO 1 --- #### How to break out? --- ### Time Perspectives [Philip Zimbardo] - positive past - negative past - present - future -V- Focusing on - ~~positive past~~ - **negative past** - **present** - ~~future~~ results in a hamster, depressions. -V- Refocusing on - **positive past** - ~~negative past~~ - ~~present~~ - **future** breaks out of the hamster. --- #### Positive Cycle of Flow 1. Do meaningful actions 2. Feel good 3. Growing skills 4. Believe in yourself 5. GOTO 1 --- #### How to orient yourself towards the future? Personal Vision --- #### How to perceive your past positively? Choice of attitude --- We are free to choose our reaction to events. [Viktor Frankl] -V- We choose **how we interpret** our past. --- ### TOOL: Choice of attitude (originally named *Inner-game*; not related to Timothy Gallwey's work) -V- Interpreting seemingly *negative events* as **neutral** or even **positive**. -V- Event → 😟/😐/😀

#### Default: Failure → 😟

#### Choice: Failure → 😐/😀

Micro-habit that can be trained. -V- ### My switched attitudes 1. Calming down my expectation of perfect social interactions - "This went well, we both enjoyed the chat." 2. Burying past failures - "At least I learned to do something new!" --- ### TOOL: Three Good Things [Martin Seligman] (Learned Optimism) -V- At the end of every day, think about 3 things that went well for you. -V- #### Why? Increases positive emotions, hope and optimism. Strengthens your focus on positive past. -V- ### My Good Things? Done daily during dinner as a family. 1. chatted with my coworkers over coffee 2. resolved one bug 3. finally gave my talk on procrastination