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Outcomes
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Flow brings outcomes and they keep us going:
- emotional outcomes - it makes us happy
- material outcomes - fruits of our labour
But sometimes...
we get derailed by bad mood
- by negative events or emotions around us
- due to our own failing
- by recalling a negative past
and lose our flow.
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Negativity captures our attention
more than positivity.
Negativity and pessimism reinforce themselves.
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Negative feedback loop may keep us down,
unproductive, in a bad mood.
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We need emotional stability to keep on going.
Hamster in a box
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Hamster in a box
- when put in a box with a lid, it will try to jump out
- and after a day or two it will give up and never try again
- even once the lid is removed
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Baby Elephant Syndrome
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Young elephant gets tied to a tree by a thin rope which it can’t break.
As an adult, it is constrained by the same thin rope and it doesn’t break free.
Because it learned it is no use to even try.
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Learned helplessness
[Martin Seligman]
Hamster Procrastination Cycle
- Do nothing
- Have regrets
- Doubt yourself
- Feel helpless
- GOTO 1
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Sounds familiar!
- Do nothing
- Have regrets
- Doubt yourself
- Feel helpless
- GOTO 1
Positive Cycle of Flow
- Do meaningful actions
- Feel good
- Growing skills
- Believe in yourself
- GOTO 1
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My morning routine of flow
definitely helped!
How to break out?
Time Perspectives
- positive past
- negative past
- present
- future
[Philip Zimbardo]
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Focusing on
positive past- negative past
- present
future
results in a hamster cycle, depressions.
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Refocusing on
- positive past
negative pastpresent- future
breaks out of the hamster cycle.
How to orient yourself towards the future?
Personal Vision
How to perceive your past positively?
Choice of attitude
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TOOL: Choice of attitude
(originally named Inner-game; not related to Timothy Gallwey’s work)
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We are free to choose our reaction to events.
[Viktor Frankl]
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Interpreting seemingly negative events
as neutral or even positive.
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Event → 😟/😐/😀
Default:
Failure → 😟
Choice:
Failure → 😐/😀
Micro-habit that can be trained.
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My switched attitudes
- Burying past failures
- 😱 “I caused a car crash!”
- 😌 “No one got hurt, I learned from it and now I have an awesome story to tell!”
- Handling rejections
- 🤬 “They refused my merge request!”
- 🙂 “I got feedback, I can improve it and make it even better for next time.”
TOOL: Three Good Things
[Martin Seligman] (Learned Optimism)
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At the end of every day,
think about 3 things
that went well for you.
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Why?
Increases positive emotions, hope and optimism.
Strengthens your focus on positive past.
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My routine?
Done daily during dinner as a family.
Today, I liked that...
- I had a nice chat with my coworker
- I resolved one bug
- I finally gave my talk on procrastination!