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7.7 KiB

Outcomes

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Daily meaningful activities

using skills you already have

gets you into flow.

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Flow frequently brings outcomes:

  • emotional outcomes (makes us happy)
  • material outcomes (fruits of our labour)

Outcomes keep us going.

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But sometimes...

we get derailed by bad mood

  • by negative events or emotions around us
  • due to our own failing
  • by recalling a negative past

and lose our flow.

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Negativity captures our attention

more than positivity.

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So we stay down

due to the negative feedback loop:

Negativity and pessimism reinforce themselves.

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We need emotional stability to keep us going.


Hamster in a box

 

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Hamster in a box

  • when put in a box with a lid, it will try to jump out
  • and after a day or two it will give up and never try again
  • even once the lid is removed

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Baby Elephant Syndrome

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Young elephant gets tied to a tree by a thin rope which it can’t break.

As an adult, it is constrained by the same thin rope and it doesn’t break free.

Because it learned it is no use to even try.

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Learned helplessness

[Martin Seligman]


Hamster Procrastination Cycle

  1. Do nothing
  2. Have regrets
  3. Doubt yourself
  4. Feel helpless
  5. GOTO 1

How to break out?


Time Perspectives

  • positive past
  • negative past
  • present
  • future

[Philip Zimbardo]

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Focusing on

  • positive past
  • negative past
  • present
  • future

results in a hamster, depressions.

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Refocusing on

  • positive past
  • negative past
  • present
  • future

breaks out of the hamster.


Positive Cycle of Flow

  1. Do meaningful actions
  2. Feel good
  3. Growing skills
  4. Believe in yourself
  5. GOTO 1

How to orient yourself towards the future?

Personal Vision


How to perceive your past positively?

Choice of attitude


We are free to choose our reaction to events.

[Viktor Frankl]

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We choose how we interpret our past.


TOOL: Choice of attitude

(originally named Inner-game; not related to Timothy Gallwey’s work)

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Interpreting seemingly negative events

as neutral or even positive.

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Event → 😟/😐/😀

Default:

Failure → 😟

Choice:

Failure → 😐/😀

Micro-habit that can be trained.

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My switched attitudes

  1. Burying past failures
    • 😱 “I caused a car crash!”
    • 😌 “No one got hurt, I learned from it and now I have an awesome story to tell!”
  2. Handling rejections
    • 🤬 “They rejected my merge request!”
    • 🙂 “I got feedback, I can improve it and make it even better for next time.”

TOOL: Three Good Things

[Martin Seligman] (Learned Optimism)

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At the end of every day,

think about 3 things

that went well for you.

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Why?

Increases positive emotions, hope and optimism.

Strengthens your focus on positive past.

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My routine?

Done daily during dinner as a family.

Today, I liked that...

  1. I had a nice chat with my coworker
  2. I resolved one bug
  3. I finally gave my talk on procrastination!